Roller Coaster.

Things have been a roller coaster ride these days. Lotsa ups and downs.
Honestly I never realize I don't like to work till now. Kinda fucked up.
Just started on my internship and I've been pretty bad. Discipline wise that is. Second week and I had three days mc. Cool huh? Sure cannot get A already. But fuck care luh. Whatever happens, happens.

I've been quarelling a lot with my boyfriend lately too. Its not good either. I feel like I don't really understand a lot of things in life. Though it may seem I do because of the way I talk I guess. I don't regret being with him. And I don't mind the hardship I will definitely face from now on just to be with him. But I'm just scared I can't pull through. Its not the kind of fairytale I always wanted. But it is the prince I always wanted. Hopefully love will pull us through everything. I'm kinda crying while writing this though.

I feel like I've also been influenced by a certain friend of mine lately. She's the kind who doesn't really worry bout her life and everything still seems perfectly fine for her. I feel like becoming a little like that just cause. Its like she can slack, sit back, relax and she's still alive after everything. Pretty amazing. I hate to admit it but I'm kinda slack these days because of her vibes I guess. I just wanna be carefree like that. But I know I can't.

Lastly, I think I'm kinda hopeless now. I'm unsure if I can last my two months of internship and the last semester of tertiary. I'm also unsure if I can last the six months of my baby's attachment and that whole entire month away. I feel like I'm really breaking down now. I need serious help. But who is there to help me?

Till then...


Love,
Bel